Attack of the vampires and power rangers!
by LauraSweetums
Summary: Funny short, random story! Please read and give it a chance! Cullen family reads this and attack me!


One day Bella, and the rest of the Cullen family were gathered around Carlisle's computer reading the various fan fictions the people post on when Rosalie said, "I don't get it why people always make me sound like such a bitch! Like, when I first met Bella, I was only mean to her because she made my brother run away!" Edward then glared at her. She just shook it off, "I mean I'm not that much of a bitch!"

"Hey! And I'm not that much of a dunce either!" Emmett bellowed. "I'm not that hyper!" Alice wined. "I'm not that emotional either!" Jasper said angrily, "I mean, just because I can read others feeling, doesn't mean I'm more emotional then other!"

"I'm not that _motherly!_" Esme said lowly. 'To tell you the truth I don't see what's so bad about that though,' "Hey shut up!" Esme yelled at me. 'Sorry'.

"Well I think they got me down quite right!" Carlisle said happily, "I mean I am THAT nice!" he giggled. Everyone just stared silently at him.

"Well I'm not that clumsy, and I'm not THAT big of a cry baby!" Bella said pouting. Everyone just stared into opposite directions trying to avoid her gaze as a cricket started to chirp. She just let out a low "humph." "Hmmm…" Edward sighed, "I'm just tired of people making me leave," he said in a grumpy way, "Well you **_did _**leave!" Bella said in an angry way.

Everyone stared at him and shook their heads he just shrugged his shoulders. They went on with reading all of the fan fiction about them and their surroundings   
(and some lemon's), "Hey! You know who's really starting to tick me off?" Rosalie said, "What?" everyone asked, "I'm tired of all the flamers sending reviews to the nice fan fiction writer, _Lovely Tears of Mine, _she is really nice and all of her characters sound like us!" everyone looked at each other shaking their heads agreeing with Rosalie. I smiled happily,

"Hey I wouldn't say that!" Rosalie bellowed. 'THIS IS MY STORY AND I'LL DO WHAT I WANT!' I screeched. "Fine, fine," Rosalie said with a "humph".

Anyways, back to my story!

They were sitting around reading various ones, good ones and bad ones, serious ones and funny ones, ones that mad you want to cry and ones that mad you want to karate cop your next-door neighbor's dog.

There were laughs there were tears (from Bella) "Hey stop that!" Bella yelled, 'Just let me tell my damn story the way I want it!' there was silence… 'Good, now lets move on AGAIN.' There were karate chops, and there was yelling from a certain Emmett who was the one to get karate chopped because of the "Who's the Dog?" shirt he was wearing.

Finally when they were finished reading, and sending many angry and lovely reviews, they decided to go out…

'Wait where are they going? I didn't write this stuff! Oh no! Where are you all going?! Stop ignoring me! This is MY fan fiction! You must obey! OBEY! OBEY!' They just keep on walking out the door… 'Jebus! I'm going to follow you!' "She's a stalker," 'Hey I herd that Bella! Please I have no life, come back! Um…I'll make you all blood cookies!' Alice looked at me excited, "Focus!" Edward hissed.

I'm making a fool of myself…

Hold on someone just knocked at my door….

-2 minutes later-

AA! They're here and they're not happy! How did they get here so fast! They were just walking out the door as I answered the door! They can't find me though! I'm in my little vampire protected space, I always wished for this day! But not like this!

SHHH! I don't think they here me typing. I hear no more walking, so I'm going to go out side and see what's going on, and don't worry my friends, your coming with me!

AA! They figured out my hiding place and they were waiting out side! Now I'm running, running, running…running…and I give up. Funny how I can keep typing even though this is going on isn't it?

"Give us that computer monitor, the computer tower, keyboard, the Internet connection, and extension wired that are keeping you typing!" Amazing isn't it that I can carry all of this around, because I am too poor and cheap to buy a laptop?

Anyways, once I was about to hand it over guess who just happened to stop by for some reason! Jacob Black! "Why were you sending me all of these distress e-mails about being attacked my vampires?" he asked STILL not looking up from his laptop, "Oh, sorry," he mumbled…better.

He then looked at the Cullen's and back to me and just shook his head as he retreated back to his car, 'hey you! Come back I need you!' my request went unfulfilled. I just sighed as, guess who, no other then cat man walked through my door! 'Get out of here! I told you a million times! I'm not getting back with you! Plus your like fifty years older then me, which is kind of creepy!' "But I lerve you!" he yelled as he fell to his knees.

'Nope, I ain't throwing you another bone!' "But why?!" he cried, 'Because I love someone else!' I said dramatically as I threw my arm over my eyes and falling to my knees looking as if I was in pain.

"WHO? WHO?" he asked dramatically. 'The Pillsbury Dough Boy!' I said in a loud sigh like voice. Then I herd a loud cough from behind me, "This fan fictions suppose to be about us," Edward said, 'Oh,' 'Now what are you going to do next since some how you took over this fan fiction?'

They all had confused looked, "I don't know…we didn't really plan that part out…" Alice said, 'Okay if you let me keep this fan fiction, I'll let you and Rosalie take me and use me as a Barbie Doll instead of Bella' I said, Bella smiled at me,

_Yes! I don't think they want to kill me anymore!_ "We were never going to kill you," Emmett said in a deep voice, 'that was my private though! How did you here that!', "Um, the thought bubble on top of your head," Carlisle said casually, _Damn it! Why do they have to be so gorgeous?!_ I asked myself randomly.

They just smiled at each other and took a step forward to try and retrieve my giant computer I've been lugging around for about 30 minutes now. Once they were about to snatch it, while Bella had a sorrowful look on her face because she would remain as a Barbie doll, the power rangers barged through the doors with my love in the red ranger's hand!

"Stop!" the blue ranger bellowed in a commanding voice. They went to charge, but the vampires easily fought them off, as the power rangers burst into sparks for some odd reason (they really do, watch a episode, if they get hit by anything they burst into sparks for some reason!)

As they were lying on the ground defeated, the pink ranger lifted her head in an effort and said, "Go orange ranger, go!" to me. I smiled and lifted my wrist as I went through one of those groovy transformation thing-ys.

When I was finished I rolled on the ground in a spy like manner (still holding my hundred pound computer) and got up putting my fingered together in a gun shape, (again still holding the computer)

I pretended to blast them, with my fingers shaped as a laser gun as I said, 'Bee-ume! Bee-ume!', to make it more realistic. I failed miserable. But quickly I pressed save to this document!

They could do nothing. They were helpless! MUHAHAHA! Then I grabbed my love – The Pillsbury Dough Boy- and went to fly away, when I discovered I couldn't fly. But then I remembered!

Vampires can run fast! So I walked up to the Cullen family and asked, 'Do you have any smexay vampire friends that want to make a Bella&Edward relationship with me so I can ditch this loser-' I pointed my thumb towards my recent love, 'and we can have a drama filled relationship, but it will all end out okay in the end?'

They just stared at me, and smiled. I smile back. Then we all joined hands and walked off into the sunset, happily ever after… after I found my smexay vampire.

_**The End!**_

P.S. If you want more random, funny, short stories by Blondie – co-writer- then review and say so! And also, I put this in the story for a reason! Stop you flamers **sizzle, **my self-esteem is low enough; it doesn't need it to be lower!


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